(no subject)

[butterflyfactor]

Layla awoke to the curious sensation of knowing it was Christmas Morning, and not being consumed with a hollow, distant loathing. As it happened, she felt well rested and sort of happy. She was no stranger to feeling pleased, or smug, or even satisfied with events played appropriately out, particularly when she was the cause. A feeling of general well being, though, was alien. She turned her head to look at Jamie, who was on his side behind her. Typically inclined to seeking out her own space in sleep, even when she was in his bed, apparently they'd spent the night quite close together. She felt warm.

She twisted her body carefully, and just enough that she could reach back to sift her fingertips through his hair and down to the nape of his neck. She didn't say anything or stir too much past the initial movement, content, for the moment, to watch him.

He stopped us from taking that ever so daunting step last night. Partly out of a sense of decency, I'm sure, because as accepting as he is of his multiplicity he'd still rather be a good person than not, but also out of concern for me. While that could have been... pretty patronizing, it wasn't. Because it was genuine. He saw me clearly enough, knew me- knows me- well enough to see what I was doing, and he didn't let me. I'm glad he didn't. It would have been a blind gesture, just reaching out, and I don't do that. That's not me. I'm more deliberate than that.

With small, controlled twists of her hips against the mattress, she edged back until his chest was against her shoulder blades, and she settled against him, taking care so the lines of their bodies from torso to toes were touching.

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[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

It made sense to tuck her knees on either side of his hips when he sat up. She shrugged into the brush of his hand to let the straps slip down her arms, that seemed the most expedient way. It was all motivated purely by pragmatism.

Yup.

She dropped her hands from his shoulders to traverse the lines of his chest and torso, because that made it easier to take the bra all the way off and discard it. Layla didn't stop kissing him for one moment, and the tug of his hand in her hair all but guaranteed she wouldn't. Once the offending garment was out of the way she pressed herself flush against him, catching his mouth in one long, uninterrupted press.

[howmanylives]

Jamie needed a moment. Which wasn't to say that, given the chance -- and he strongly suspected that he would get that chance, and possibly as soon as that morning -- he wouldn't remove her from the rest of her clothes in a flash, but this was all, if not flat out unexpected given the turn of events from the night before, then at least a long time in the making. He wanted to savor the moment, to get lost in the press of their mouths, and how her body fit against his. Lips parting under hers, he deepened the kiss, his other hand finding its way back to her back, eventually settling on the soft curve of her hip.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

The kisses seared, and took their own sweet time. She felt hot in her skin in the best possible way, and while part of her, not an emotional remnant from the night before but a physical memory, wanted to move things along, she was pleased to let the moments stretch. It gave her time to explore- though she had, in depth and detail, over the months- from a new, or renewed, perspective.

[howmanylives]

He'd wanted her in his lap, because it allowed him better access to what he'd once so eloquently referred to as her things. After a while, his kisses fell off center, his mouth leaving a trail down from the corner of her mouth to the line of her jaw, her neck; he pressed a soft, sucking kiss to the hollow above her collarbone. Finally letting go of her hair, he snaked the very same hand between their bodies, the tips of his fingers ghosting upwards along her abdomen for the few seconds it took before he cupped the swell of her breast, all the while ducking his head further so that his mouth might take proper care of her other.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

Layla tipped her head back to stretch her throat and the slope of her chest down to her stomach so his hands and, holy crap, his mouth could move unencumbered wherever they would. She gasped quietly and rocked against him, her hands sweeping up along his arms and shoulders.

[howmanylives]

Undecided on where he wanted to go -- what he wanted to feel, explore -- Jamie tried being everywhere at once, his free hand roaming down from her back, and onto her leg, his thumb sneaking up along her inner thigh. Her pajama pants would have to go sooner rather than later, but in the meantime, it was something of a thrill, teasing her like this, making a note of her reactions, and repeating what he remembered she'd enjoyed in the past. Though his mouth lingered over her breasts, he slid his other hand behind her, resting heavily on the small of back to press her more insistently against him, a moan lost against her skin.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, Layla kissed Jamie with her eyes open. Not all the way, she wasn't a creeper, but catching glimpses of Jamie losing himself in anything was always a sort of thrill. Now, though, her own eyes were fully shut as she lost herself, gladly, to Jamie's admittedly expert touch. Her nails scraped against his back and up into his hair, where her hands tightened. She wanted more.

She was ready for more.

[howmanylives]

The tug on his hair was enough to draw Jamie's attention elsewhere, and he pulled back from Layla with a gasp, his face flushed, and his eyes dark. He didn't go very far, nor did he stay away for long, already pressing hurried, wet kisses to her neck. His hand slipped from her back and down under the waistband of her pajamas -- under, even, the flimsy material of her panties -- to grab her, greedily.

"Layla?" he said, his voice lilting in a pleading question, half muffled in the press of his mouth to hers. It was only her name, but it was clear enough what he was asking for -- permission, direction.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"Yes," she said, gasped, somewhere near moaned, dragging the tip of her nose across his temple, her parted lips across his mouth.

Yes, please.

[howmanylives]

I plan for contingencies. It's part of my nature... Thinking things through to their logical conclusions... Anticipating turn of events, however unlikely. Admittedly, I'd thought that consummating my relationship with Layla anytime soon fell on the more unlikely end of the spectrum, but it's nevertheless a possibility I considered... One that I'd prepared for, to an extent, by grabbing a handful of condoms during a trip to the Compound back in September.

Despite the concession, though, I'm not sure I ever really thought we'd get this far. I thought I'd screw things up long before we go to this point, because... Well, that's also part of my nature. Instead, here we are. I'm about to be her first.... Her only, if I believed in happily ever afters... And I'm not sure that I do. But here, in the moment, I want to.

Heh. Must be the holiday. I'm not usually so terrifyingly optimistic.

Nothing short of encouraged by Layla's response, Jamie twisted underneath her, lifting her, slightly, so that he could lay her down on the bed. He hovered over her for a second, planting one last, heated kiss to her mouth before he moved lower, intent on doing away with the last of her clothes.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

Layla lifted her hips to help facilitate the removal of her pajama pants, careful not to do something to spoil the mood like kneeing Jamie in the face. She tossed her head to get her hair out of her face and only succeeded in mussing it up terribly. Not a priority.

She snuck her toes along his thigh to his hip. Just because he wasn't in her immediate reach, didn't mean she was going to stop touching him.

[howmanylives]

Jamie laughed a little, flashing Layla an unguarded smile as he tossed her pajamas and underwear both aside, leaving her naked. She was, in a word, exquisite -- all long, slender limbs, and blonde hair, beautiful by every definition of the word, yet uniquely her, as well. For a moment, he simply took her in, an expression that was both fond and somewhat awed settling on his features as his gaze swept over her body. Then, with little warning, he leaned forward, and pressed a very quick, if undeniably intimate kiss between her legs, his eyes flicking upwards to catch her reaction, even as he was already drawing away, giving her thigh a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't touch that dial," he murmured.

Swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress, he stood up to close the door, more to keep Richards out than for the sake of privacy, then began rummaging in the bottom drawer of his desk for a few seconds before he found the condoms he'd been looking for. Keeping one palmed in his hand, he returned to the bed, though he didn't yet join her, lingering instead to the side, his thumbs hooked into the waist of his boxer-briefs, hesitating, though there was no hiding that she'd gotten him good and riled up.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

She watched him, knock-kneed and flushed, before she sat up and forward. As her palms glided thoughtfully along the lines of his hips and obliques she pressed her mouth to his sternum, tongue sliding past her lips to taste his skin. Scars be damned. It wasn't about accepting them or absolving his past or any of that shit he liked to pile on top of physical gestures, not this time. It was about his body. She liked it and she wanted it and felt, in their present circumstances, she had certain rights of it. She scraped her teeth over the muscles of his abdomen, pressed slow, wet kisses past his belly button, and curled her fingers under the elastic of his shorts, peeling them down and chasing the exposed skin with her mouth.

[howmanylives]

His breaths were shallow as he let her work, and he suppressed a shiver under her touch. Threading his fingers through her hair, he stepped in closer to shorten the distance she had to stretch, kicking off his underwear so that he was as naked as her, having toed off his socks in his sleep. Curious as to how far she would take this -- not to mention, wanting more -- he didn't move to sit just yet, instead waiting for a cue to press things along, lost all the while in the incomparable feeling of her mouth against his skin.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

Her hands moved everywhere, alternating between skimming her fingertips and nails over his skin. Eyes heavily lidded, she went mostly by sensation and intuition until the skin under her lips was hot, and then she anchored her hands on his hips and took him into her mouth.

Being particularly attentive to details, she'd spent the months of their physical relationship learning what nuances, what techniques, elicited the strongest responses. She didn't necessarily want to rush things along, but she wanted to hear those responses- so she used them.

Until she stopped.

[howmanylives]

A small, involuntary sound escaped Jamie as he looked down at Layla, his eyes dark with want; that he hadn't wanted her to stop was obvious enough, even if he knew that there was something else -- something arguably better -- waiting for him in his simultaneously near, but all too distant future. Sucking in a shaky breath, he stepped to the side, and dropped one knee down onto the mattress, settling back down beside her, even as he remained painfully conscious of his own arousal, his thoughts trapped in reliving how good she felt around him just moments before.

His thoughts elsewhere, his hands moved almost of their own accord, the silver packet still tucked into his palm. With one hand on her thigh, and the other wrapped around her shoulder, he guided her back down onto the bed, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. Then, very carefully, he slid his hand up between her legs, clever fingers tracing a slow, lazy circle over warm, sensitive skin.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

Feeling strangely safe, protected by the gesture, she turned her head to return the kiss about as chastely back- and ended up gasping, very quietly as her breath caught, against his mouth. She made a small noise and ducked her forehead against his shoulder, sliding a hand to the back of his neck. Her breath sped up and she felt even warmer than she had a moment ago.

[howmanylives]

Waiting long enough to ensure he wouldn't catch Layla entirely by surprise, Jamie very slowly pushed one finger inside of her, settling down more so beside than on top of her to make the angle as comfortable as possible. Though they'd done as much in the past, there were intentions that lent the proceedings a different sort of energy, certain expectations that had to be met. His memories of his own first time lost amidst the shuffle of reabsorptions, he wanted this to be as good for her as humanly possible.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

It was, by now, a familiar sensation. A welcome one. She sighed a little, hips shifting. She stroked Jamie's shoulders and the back of his neck, and tipped her face to breathe against his ear before nibbling on the lobe, lapping at the curve of the shell. She made a low, fitful noise and pressed her face into his hair.

It was familiar, and good, but there was a certain sense of anticipation that hadn't been there before.

[howmanylives]

He added another finger, careful, again, to take it slow, take it steady, though his thumb had begun to work over more sensitive skin. When he wasn't busy gesturing, making a show, he was good with his hands, and they were too far gone, now, for him to scare her off with something sudden.

Even so, he couldn't entirely help himself. Actions spoke louder than words, sure enough, but he liked words, liked talking. Despite its being obvious, he sighed, contently, as he pulled back his head, his gaze dropping to Layla's mouth. He murmured, "I want you."

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"I love you," she replied, and kissed him. For longer than she'd anticipated. It changed, after the first moment, from something soft, coaxing and reassuring into something stronger, wetter, harder. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him with the same abandon from the night before, even some of the same desperation, but it was coming from an entirely different place.

[howmanylives]

His own kisses were artless, motivated by feeling rather than design, a mess of tongue and teeth as he tried to keep up with Layla, to return everything he was receiving. It was liberating in a way he hadn't felt for ages, his brain temporarily shut off in favor of matters more physical. Sliding his fingers out from inside her, he shifted his weight so that he was hovering over her, his body held up by his elbows, he drew the packet up out of his palm to between his fingers, tearing it open to get at the condom inside. Breaking away from Layla with a quiet gasp, he pressed a series of wet -- if fleeting -- kisses to her mouth, and then the line of her jaw, before he finally sat up a little, kneeling between her legs.

Despite not remembering the last time he'd used protection, Jamie's movements were practiced -- automatic -- as he took himself in hand, rolling on the condom without much thought spared to the motion. Layla held his focus entirely, those three little words of hers finally hitting him in that moment. Even as he positioned himself, lined up their bodies just right, he ran his fingertips over her chest, her hips, his touch light and teasing. A smile touched at the corners of his mouth, and he said in a whisper, "Love you, too."

Only then did he start to push inside her.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

Layla sucked in a sharp, quiet breath and blinked a few times.

Oh what. What. The fu

Given the months of preparation, Layla was slightly taken aback by the discomfort. Because it was not comfortable. It didn't hurt exactly, and it had a strange sort of near-familiarity, a feeling like there was promise. It was just a little surprising. She turned her face against Jamie's temple, breath working in stops and starts in her throat, soft but audible.

[howmanylives]

"Are you--?" he started to ask, but the question died in his throat as he swallowed a moan. He settled inside her, becoming completely and utterly still to let her get used to the size of him, the shape. From an intellectual standpoint, he knew this could be painful for her, but on his end of things, it felt nothing short of fantastic. Blowing air through his teeth, he tried very hard to stay focused, to give her time to adjust, when all he wanted was to move, to feel more.

"I'm not hurting you?"

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"No," Layla gasped, fingers flexing against the muscles of his back.

"A little," she added, dropping her head back, stretching her throat, as she tried to breathe into the new feeling.

"But it's-" She dropped her chin so she could see him, though she did so through her lashes. She brushed their mouths together.

"Ah. It's good. It feels... good."