(no subject)

[butterflyfactor]

Layla was on the porch, sitting cross legged and straight backed in the chair, reading a travel book in Portuguese. She looked totally at ease and pleased with life. This was because for the first time in a long time, she knew something someone else didn't know, that actually applied to the island.

It felt good.

Comments

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"I'm doubling back," she replied, although apparently she meant in the conversation, because she didn't start swimming back to shore.

"I asked you why you didn't want to die, anymore, and you said it's because you're a coward. Okay. Are there any reasons you want to live?"

[howmanylives]

"There'd have to be, wouldn't there?"

As Jamie watched her swim with a keen eye, his panic never quite subsiding, that twisted, impulsive part of him that still spoke up every once in a while whispered to go join her, that the water was fine, and he had nothing to worry about -- not when one of his reasons for wanting to live was right out there with him.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

She groaned, rolling her eyes, but smiled, and let her head fall back and her body follow, disappearing under the water. She stayed gone for a few long moments before she came up again, hair heavy with water and not pushed back, considerably closer.

"You're about to officially lose your right to give me crap about straight answers."

[howmanylives]

"What can I say?" he replied, flashing her a quick grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I learned from the best."

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"Come on," she prompted, crossing her arms low across her ribs, half in the water, "one good reason you want to live."

[howmanylives]

I could say Moira or Rahne or the fact that Theresa hasn't had to live through the hell of watching me reabsorb our son. I could even just deflect with another glib remark, because glib remarks are something I excel at. Of all the things I've learned over the years, avoidance is unique in that I'm pretty sure I picked it up all on my own, no dupes required. In the end, though, I can't quite shake that voice nagging me in the back of my head -- do something unexpected, it says, tell the truth.

"You," he said simply after a moment's deliberation. He was breaking every rule in the noir handbook -- if such a thing existed -- with such an admission, but it was undeniably true. Still, he averted his gaze, and when he spoke again, his voice was only just loud enough to be heard over the water. "You're a good reason to want to live."

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

Layla's expression slipped a little from sheer surprise that was being tightly reigned in by habitual nonchalance. Her fingers dug into her arms so that they wouldn't.

"I wasn't angling for that," she said, after a moment.

I really wasn't. It's actually surprising as hell to hear. I could almost feel guilty, but I guess I'm a better alternative than not having a reason.

And it's nice to hear.

[howmanylives]

"Yeah, well, I feel like I just walked into the third act of a bad rom-com," he said, pressing his fingers briefly to the bridge of his nose. After a moment, though, he let his hand drop back down to his side, sighing. "Doesn't make it less true."

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

As someone who knows the ending, I can safely say this is not a rom-com. Matters of taste aside, however, bringing that up at this juncture probably wouldn't be helpful.

"Okay," Layla said, and let out a breath that was too purposeful and quiet to be a sigh. She put her hands on his shoulders, the way you did when you were about to shake someone awake or say the words Stay with me, here. She ducked her head to an angle where she could meet his eyes.

"Don't panic."

This was some of the better advice that had ever been put to paper, Layla had always thought. It had, at least, served her well on a pretty regular basis since a very early age. It was applicable to just about every conceivable situation, including several she was currently in, not that she had said it for her sake. Or not entirely, anyway.

Before he could argue it, she leaned up and kissed him. Her pulse seemed to jump start.

Don't panic.

[howmanylives]

Given that he'd been panicking since the second he'd step foot in the water, Layla's advice, such as it was, seemed a little late to Jamie. Still, he forced himself to take a deep breath per her instruction, a course of action that was at complete odds with every instinct fighting its way for control over his body.

It's not the first time we've kissed, but it's not something we've done so often that it's become familiar, either. There's a novelty to it still that makes my already racing heart beat faster, and the anxiety slips away into the background, waiting to make its presence known the second we pull away.

Like I really needed any more incentive to want to stick around.

Sighing against her mouth, he tilted his head to better the angle, and his hands tentatively rested on her hips underneath the water, holding her but not bringing her any closer. Given what had happened the last time, he had every intention of letting her guide them through this, and set the pace. He didn't want to lose his anchor, after all.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

Layla lifted her hands from his shoulders to slide them along his jaw, instead. She shivered a little.

Because the water was cold. Absolutely why.

He wasn't bolting, which was a good sign. She parted her lips against his mouth, just slightly.

[howmanylives]

While Jamie moved deliberately as a general rule anyway -- a side-effect of his constant over thinking -- the small step he took towards Layla seemed especially careful, though whether it was because of the resistance from the water or fear was up for debate. His toes curled in the sand and without truly deepening the kiss, he parted his lips in turn.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

I've got a pretty solid grasp on who I am, as a person. Certain words just aren't really applicable, have never been a part of my vocabulary, in that regard. Sweet, for example. It's just not something I related to or focused on or cared much about. It's kind of useless, sweet. Like 'nice'. Who needs it?

But even I can admit, that under the million other things that this is, because it's loaded, and it's a lot- under everything else that this kiss is, it's sweet. And I can't even manage to feel too stupid about it.

Layla fitted her arms about his shoulders as she fitted her mouth better to his in slow, sure increments. The swell of a wave lifted her a little, and set her down closer to him, but she dragged her toes in the sand so it wasn't too much so. There was a happy side effect to their current situation, which was Jamie not thinking, let alone over thinking. The water- hopefully- at least not in the obvious ways- was the last thing on his mind.

[howmanylives]

"Mmnlayla?" he murmured, easing out of the kiss after a few moments, though he didn't go very far, his lips still brushing against her mouth, just barely. His train of thought was notably aborted, however, because he proceeded to gently catch her bottom lip with his mouth before giving her a chance to answer, his hands sliding up her back.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"Uh huh?" she breathed back, fingers curling in his hair. It was a place for her to focus the considerable tension in her body and stop her from letting herself just go on something as unreliable as instinct.

[howmanylives]

It was a few more moments before he spoke again, his nails dragging lightly across wet skin. "What," he asked, pressing another kiss to the corner of her mouth, "exactly does this mean?"

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

Layla shivered again, her face turning into the touch of his mouth.

"What does what mean?"

[howmanylives]

"You're kissing me," he clarified, though right at that second, it was more that he was kissing her.

She started it.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"Traditionally, it would signify that I like you," she murmured, sighing when their mouths met again.

[howmanylives]

"Yeah, but I already knew that," he said, edging just a little bit closer. "What I don't know is where it leaves us... Or if there even is an us, let alone whether or not if there should be."

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"I can tell you that there is, in fact, an us in the future," she said, voice staying level as ever even though she could feel the flush spreading across her cheeks.

"And that I want there to be an us, now. Do you think we shouldn't?" The question was genuine, that was something they'd have to work through. She wasn't entirely focused on the question though. She ran her hand over his chest, down then back up to settle along his neck.

[howmanylives]

"I think you're crazy for wanting to be with me, but that could just be my self-loathing talking," he replied, gaze dropping down to his chest, and then back up again, searching her face. "I mean, jeez, Layla, I'm not exactly prime relationship material, here."

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"You're Prime you," she countered, smiling.

"That's all I'm looking for."

[howmanylives]

"...you have incredibly low standards," he all but laughed, leaning forward even as he said it to rest his forehead against hers.

[butterflyfactor.livejournal.com]

"And lousy taste," Layla said, closing her eyes when he did, "except in hosiery. But that's my problem, not yours."